Conformity/Identity

7 Strange Things About Conformity/Identities

How much time do we spend worrying about our image? Some more than other others, but even the most laid back guy at least throws himself a glance when heading out the door. We are all cultivating identities, constantly shaping and modifying the image we want others to see. As good Christians we all know 1 Samuel 16:7 but still communicate things to others with the way we present ourselves. For example, workout clothes say "I'm going to the gym", a suit says "I respect myself and my work", and a Maroon 5 t-shirt says "I have bad taste". Whether we admit it or not, everyone wants to think of themselves as cool, ahead of the curve, and generally more aware than the other "sheep" who blindly follow trends. That's great you were listening to Sufjan and wearing plaid shirts long before he/they were mainstream; so was everyone else at Fuller. But sometimes there are aspects of conformity that we don't want to think about, like the fact that...

1) Cool is an illusion.
 A cultural construct of what is desirable. We are all cultivating an image based on what we see in the media and in others. Whether it is hipster, outdoorsy, preppy, trendy, etc., we are subconsciously aiming for something we have already seen. And the truth is we are all just dorks. Whether its video games, clothes, harry potter, Dane Cook, shopping, reality t.v., star wars, a snort in our laugh, etc., we have some guilty pleasure that is hidden most of the time. You have, at some point, farted at an inopportune moment, tripped while walking up stairs, gotten caught in a nose pick, been laughed at by someone you dislike, and worn something you were later ashamed of, but its ok because so has EVERYONE ELSE. On a side note, my sister started something fun in high school-whenever we tripped in public, we figured the Lord was trying to humble us, so we would just put our hands in the air and scream "humility!"

2) Anti-conformity is still controlled by trends.
 Once a trend becomes mainstream, most of us kiss it goodbye. But why? Just because more people are enjoying it? I used to like the clothing brand RVCA, and my friend worked at a surf shop so the gear I got was not available to the public which meant I felt double awesome. Then one day the wifey and I were babysitting kids and watching the Disney channel and some little 13 year old kid in the show is wearing my RVCA shirt. The exact one was wearing at that moment. I felt dirty. Like a cheap whore. I promptly went home and fed my RVCA clothes to some goats. How many of us have enjoyed a band when they were indie and become disinterested when they make it big time?  In an attempt to NOT be trendy we still let trends dictate our taste. Plus, you end up looking just like the other non-conformists you hang out with. Ever see two guys with cutoff pants, v-neck tees, and toms standing next to each other? Hilarious.

3) Newsie caps need to stop.
     This has nothing to do with conformity, it just annoys me. Unless you are herding sheep in Scotland or delivering papers in the 1920’s, there is no reason to wear these things. If you must wear them at least wear clothes that match, like a collared shirt or blazer. Newsie cap + hooded sweatshirt = foolish. The exception here is if you’re black, in which case you can pull off any hat. Now that I think about it, perhaps this rule could be abbreviated to white dudes should avoid hats.

4) Conformity affects language.
    I understand that humans have a need to belong to a group and common language is a way of bonding, but if I hear one more person use the word “literally” incorrectly I will probably start crying. When did this start? How can it end? There are many phrases or words that currently get overused (“I’m not gonna lie…”, “I feel like…”,”fail”, “creeper”, ”legit”) but “literally” is so abused someone needs to notify police. Why can’t we let our yes be yes and our no be no? Last week I was out with my wife and her friends for a few drinks, and I noticed they were saying “literally” about two or three times per sentence. Eventually I said “Hey let’s play a game: every time you use the word “literally” incorrectly, you have to buy me another piece of sushi.” Everyone just looked at me. My wife whispered “Matt, no, don’t be mean…” Blank stares. Conversation resumed and within two minutes I was once again hearing things like “I was literally like so hungry today” and “That test was like, literally, like, such a hard test.”  I wasn’t even drinking that night but I blacked out from anger.

5) People are self-obsessed and probably won’t notice that you are wearing your nice jeans today.
    Sorry.

6) Even grooming habits change over time.
    Take facial hair for example. Sideburns were sweet in the 70’s, the ‘stache was supreme in the 80’s, and anything that accented your mullet was acceptable in the 90’s. But what about now? Ladies, say you are interested in a guy but don’t know if he’s single. What to do?? Fortunately I have compiled a chart to save you time and heartache:

7) Wow that MS Paint chart I made is bad.   
    Really you should disregard everything I have said in this article. Wear whatever makes you happy and if it is stupid then (hopefully) your friends will call you out.

Let's get it on

Focused and waiting. Focused. And waiting.

Had a nice solo surf today in Huntington. Got to spend some quality time with the Holy Spirit out there and it was great to calm my mind. Usually we roll down with a handful of dudes but I had to pick up the race packet for my first marathon tomorrow. For the past few months while surfing there, I have occasionally turned around to look up and down the coast and just thought... "...soon." It is fun/challenging/scary/exhilarating to attempt something that you have never done before. The furthest I ran in training was 20 miles. I also have 2 midterms this week- teachers I am unfamiliar with so I have no idea how they will grade, other than many students' warnings that they are very strict. The day after the race it is my 2 year anniversary. So it has been quite a week of pressure on my heart and head. Two years of wedded bliss! And it is only getting better! Marathon and marriage. One is a grueling test of the pure limits of the human will and fortitude, sure to push the boundaries of endurance and stress until a soul is at its breaking point. The other is a foot race. Bam!

back to life

Man, Christmas was wonderful and fast and already gone. Over break (specifically after Christmas but before New Year's, I wonder if that is symbolic of me being too late and already sinful yet there is still hope?) I found some podcast by Village Church (I iTunes podcast searched "theology" and "culture") on consumerism. It is incredible, and free. Do yourself a favor, download it here (the one on consumerism and materialism) and take an hour to listen to it. Maybe on a drive home, or as a quiet time one morning, or while winding down one night instead of watching T.V. Everyone I know, I repeat, EVERY PERSON I KNOW will benefit from the concepts discussed in that sermon.



By now everyone is back into the swing of the new year and I hope God is blessing you like he is blessing me. Here's to a 2011 that is better than 2010!

answer the question or question the answers?

So instead of blogging, my free time for the past month or so has been spent recording a Christmas album. It can be found here.

One of the perks of attending a seminary that specializes in the Arts is going to free movie screenings. Tonight we went to a nice theater to see "The Adjustment Bureau" starring Matt Damon and Emily Blunt. Here is the trailer. It raises questions of free will vs. fate, choice vs. chance, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Last week a professor said something very interesting-years ago, while listening to a lecture, the speaker said "It is your task as a pastor to guard the great questions."

I find this fascinating. You must admit, often the church appears to have all the answers and if you are struggling with questions or doubts (which we all do if we are honest) then you must be a bad Christian. But this idea of guarding great questions is intriguing. What might those questions be? Who is God? What are the characteristics of God? Why am I here? What does Jesus' life, ministry, and death mean for me today? Why are we as Christians afraid to wrestle with issues? If we believe all truth is God's truth, won't our struggles, investigations, and prayers just lead us closer to God?

Gray Days

     Ever since I was a kid my dad has told me to put on a lot of sunscreen.  "You don't want to have leathery old-man skin at age 30 do you??"  So many years of being in the sun...  Well, I'm 30 now, and I just went to the dermatologist.  I was actually pretty amazed that he only had to cut off one mole from my back, but now I play the waiting game.  In a week I call to find out if I have melanoma. 

      Sometimes the weather matches your mood.  It's been drizzly here in Pasadena for a few days, so that added a bit more melancholy to my morning, but not enough.  Listening to Iron & Wine while walking home in the rain from the doctor who might tell you that you have cancerous spots, now THAT is melancholy.  I don't really mind though.  We cant always live on the mountaintop with the Lord.  Sometimes we just have to trust in Him as we shuffle through the valleys.

     On a side note, it's always humbling to hear "Go into that room and take all your clothes off."  All I could think of was Jerry Seinfeld's bit about doctors making you wait on that crunchy deli paper.

My Dad

...is a Godly, wise man.  This picture is me, little bro (chase), and dad at chase's college graduation.  In emailing my dad back and forth recently, one email said simply this: "The Lord is such a gentleman – He loves us too much to give up on us but also loves us too much to bang in the door.  He just keeps knocking. "

    How consistent and loving is God?  Our brains can't even fathom it.  He is before time.  He CREATED time. WHAT?!?  In an effort to find a home church out here we have been trying many different ones, but at each one God continues to show up.  Especially in the worship.  It melts my heart (in a good way) that worship songs I spent years listening to alone in my car, playing alone at home, singing along with all by myself-these are the songs I finally get to sing with the body of Christ!!  I feel welcomed home again, and like I am in new territory, both at the same time. 

   For me it has recently been music.  What are some of the ways God has been gently knocking on your heart recently?  If you listen, He is.

Shhhh

     Our world is filled with noise.  We have grown so accustomed to the constant sound of cell phones, radios, traffic, televisions, conversations, iPods, etc. (and usually more than one at a time) that it is actually uncomfortable to be in silence for more than a few moments.  What happens in a conversation when a few seconds pass without someone speaking?   We call it an "awkward" or "uncomfortable" silence.  We are vaguely aware of scripture's emphasis on the value of quiet before God ("Be still and know what I am God..." Psalm 46:10; "Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed..." Luke 5:16), but how often do we actually practice it?  I never would have attempted it on my own, but in my first year as a youth pastor my boss decided to mandate a "hang-out-with-Jesus day".  We were to go to a place that was special to us (I chose the beach) with a notebook and bible, leave our cell phone in the car, and spend at least a couple hours in the quiet, holy presence of God.  It was incredible.  I had never spend so long in silence before God.  The answers he spoke into my heart, the joy and peace I felt in His presence-it was the most spiritually fruitful day of my life.  I have since replicated this time of silence with varying degrees of success, but I have come to realize the discipline of silence doesnt require a whole day of solitude.  Those are nice when we can afford them, but the discipline of silence seems to be simply this: being quiet before God when there would otherwise be noise.  It could be driving to work with the radio off, sitting alone in a park, or spending 10 minutes before your devotional on your knees.  Regardless of exactly how we practice silence, when we turn the volume down on the noise in our lives, we hear God's voice with much greater clarity!